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1.
Academy Fight Song (Mission of Burma) 03:11
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Walk into my room Ask me jerky questions Don't mean what you say Immaculate Conception Play by the rules So close to the chest, chest Show that all's not lost And this is not a test. Stay just as far from me as me from you. Make sure that you are sure of everything I do. 'Cause I'm not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not Your academy The halls are like piss The rooms are underlit Still it must be nice Such a perfect fit, fit What's that I hear? The sound of marching feet It has a strange allure, Has a strange allure Stay just as far from me as me from you. Make sure that you are sure of everything I do. 'Cause I'm not, not, not, not, not, not, not, not Your academy Your academy Maybe you're right, I shouldn't judge What's wrong or right, It's all too much I'm not judging you, I'm judging me. My academy. Your academy My academy. Your academy
2.
Circus Envy (R.E.M.) 04:08
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Here comes that awful feeling again Welcome the ugly animal I hold my breath to watch you swing, My pyro ba-ba-ball and chain, I'm not afraid, I messed it, messed it, messed it, messed it up I've got my telescope head in the haystack I'm getting tired of your dodgeball circus act Put pepper in my coffee, I forgot to bark on command Here comes that awful feeling again Make way for monster jealousy The strong man kicked sand into my breakfast cereal bowl I'd spelled your name with Oatios, He messed it, messed it, messed it, messed it up I've got my telescope head in the haystack I am tired of your dodgeball circus act Put pepper in my coffee, I forgot to bark on command (You're mean, mean, mean You tease, tease, tease me) If I were you I'd really run from me I'd really, really wish that I were you When I get loose, I'll climb a tree And drop a load on your head This monster in me makes me retch, you messed it, messed it up I've got my telescope head in the haystack I am jealous of your dodgeball circus act Put pepper in my coffee, I forgot to bark Put pepper in my coffee, I forgot to bark on command (You're mean, mean, mean You tease, tease, tease me) Do you smell jealousy? Do you smell jealousy, jealousy, jealousy?
3.
Restraining Order Blues (eels) 03:16
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Life goes on Nothing is new Judge made it clear I can't be near you Everybody knows that I'm not a violent man Just someone who knows he's in love I made mistakes Everyone does Don't know why I did I guess just because No one gets through to me the way that you do Now I know I'm in love Baby, it's a little much To never touch you When I know I'll never Find another love like this Life goes on Nothing is new Passing the days Thinking 'bout you Everybody knows that I'm not a violent man Just someone who knows he's in love
4.
Binky the Doormat (R.E.M.) 05:08
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This is horror movie stuff The muffin is peach, you're "makin" love' You mean this opera involves handcuffs? I lay defeated Yeah, sour milk mouth, horseradish sweet She's a girl and she's loving me But distance is my tendency I am defeated Have you lost your place? (go away, go away) I wore my doormat face (go away, go away, go away, go, go, go) I hung my this or that (go away, go away, go away, go away) I laid my welcome mat (go away, go away) If I'm your oyster, where's the war? You leave me gasping, tattered and torn I know you can't find a fork I am just a little acorn Well, acorns grow to mighty trees You've got sauce, but you don't have knees Now look who's asking pretty please I lay defeated Have you lost your place? (go away, go away) I wore my doormat face (go away, go away, go away, go, go, go) I hung my this or that (go away, go away, go away, go away) I laid my welcome mat (go away, go away) Call your bathroom friends around I will fake a little frown I will be your little clown, Easily defeated Yeah, shut the door and open wide Seconal and astroglide Fuck with me and traumatize Don't you see I love your hide? All the beauty that's trapped inside Can't you see I love your hide? Can't you see I love your hide? Can't you see it? Have you lost your place? (go away, go away) I wore my doormat face (go away, go away, go away, go, go, go) I hung my this or that (go away, go away, go away, go away) I laid my welcome mat (go away, go away, go away, go, go, go) I hung my this or that (go away, go away, go away, go away) I laid my welcome mat (go away, go away, go away, go, go, go) Go away, go away, go away Go away, go away, go away
5.
Orange Crush (R.E.M.) 03:56
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I've got my spine, I've got my orange crush (Collar me, don't collar me) I've got my spine, I've got my orange crush (We are agents of the free) I've had my fun and now it's time To serve your conscience overseas (over me, not over me) Coming in fast, over me
6.
Living Well is the Best Revenge (R.E.M.) 03:10
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It's only when your poison spins into the life you'd hoped to live That suddenly you wake up in a shaking panic, wow! You set me up like a lamb to slaughter Garbo as a farmer's daughter Unbelievable, the gospel according to who? I lay right down. All your sad and lost apostles Hum my name and flare their nostrils Choking on the bones you toss to them Well I'm not one to sit and spin Cause living wells the best revenge Baby, I am calling you on that Don't turn your talking points on me, History will set me free The future's ours and you don't even read the footnote now! So who's chasing you? Where did you go? You disappeared mid-sentence In a judgment crisis I see my anecdote for it You weakened shell All your sad and lost apostles Hum my name and flare their nostrils Choking on the bones you toss to them Well I'm not one to sit and spin Cause living wells the best revenge Baby, I am calling you on that You savor your dying breath Well, I forgive but I don't forget You work it out, let's hear that argument again Camera three, go now! All your sad and lost apostles Hum my name and flare their nostrils Choking on the bones you toss to them Well I'm not one to sit and spin Cause living wells the best revenge Baby, I am calling you on that Baby, I am calling you on that Baby, I am calling you on
7.
A Wolf At The Door (Radiohead) 03:28
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Drag him out your window Dragging out the dead Singing I miss you Snakes and ladders flip the lid Out pops the cracker Smacks you in the head Knives you in the neck Kicks you in the teeth Steel toe caps Takes all your credit cards Get up get the gunge Get the eggs Get the flan in the face The flan in the face The flan in the face Dance you fucker dance you fucker Don't you dare Don't you dare Don't you flan in the face Take it with the love its given Take it with a pinch of salt Take it to the tax man Let me back Let me back I promise to be good Don't look in the mirror at the face you don't recognize Help me, call the doctor, put me inside Put me inside Put me inside Put me inside Put me inside I keep the wolf from the door But he calls me up Calls me on the phone Tells me all the ways that he's gonna mess me up Steal all my children if I don't pay the ransom And I'll never see them again if I squeal to the cops Walking like giant cranes Ahh with my X-ray eyes I strip you naked In a tight little world Now you're on the list? Stepford wives who are we to complain? Investments and dealers Investments and dealers Cold wives and mistresses Cold wives and Sunday papers city Boys in first class don't their born in a Someone else is gonna come and clean it up Born and raised for the job Someone always does I wish you'd get up get over Get up get over and turn the tape off I keep the wolf from the door But he calls me up Calls me on the phone Tells me all the ways that he's gonna mess me up Steal all my children if I don't pay the ransom And I'll never see them again if I squeal to the cops So I'm just gonna
8.
Eye of Fatima (Camper van Beethoven) 02:40
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He's got the Eye of Fatima on the wall of his room Two bottles of tequila, three cats and a broom He's got an 18-year-old angel and she's all dressed in black He's got 15 nickles of cocaine tied up in a sack And this here's a government experiment and we're driving like Hell To give some cowboys some acid and to stay in motels We're going to eat up some wide open spaces Like it was a cruise on the Nile Take the hands off the clock, we're going to be here a while And I am the Eye of Fatima on the wall of the motel room And cowboys on acid are like Egyptian cartoons And no one ever conquered Wyoming from the left or from the right But you can stay in motel rooms and stay up all night
9.
Harborcoat (R.E.M.) 03:54
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They crowded up to Lenin with their noses worn off A handshake is worthy if it's all that you've got Metal shivs on wood push through our back There's a splinter in your eye and it reads "REACT" They shifted the statues for harboring ghosts Reddened their necks collared their clothes When we ditched the books with the middles cut out She gathered the corners and called it her gown Find my harborcoat, can't go outside without it Find my harborcoat, can't go outside without it They crowded up to Lenin with their noses worn off A handshake is worthy if it's all that you've got Metal shivs on wood push through our back There's a splinter in your eye and it reads "REACT", R-E-A-C-T They shifted the statues for harboring ghosts Reddened their necks, collared their clothes When we ditched the books with the middles cut out She gathered the corners and called it her gown She said
10.
Oliver's Army (Elvis Costello) 03:07
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Don't start that talking I could talk all night My mind goes sleepwalking While I'm putting the world to rights Call careers information Have you got yourself an occupation? Oliver's army is here to stay Oliver's army are on their way And I would rather be anywhere else But here today There was a Checkpoint Charlie He didn't crack a smile But it's no laughing party When you've been on the murder mile All it takes is one itchy trigger One more widow, one less white nigger Oliver's Army is here to stay Oliver's army are on their way And I would rather be anywhere else But here today Hong Kong is up for grabs London is full of Arabs We could be in Palestine Overrun by a Chinese line With the boys from the Mersey and the Thames and the Tyne But there's no danger It's a professional career Though it could be arranged With just a word in Mr. Churchill's ear If you're out of luck or out of work We could send you to Johannesburg Oliver's Army is here to stay Oliver's army are on their way And I would rather be anywhere else But here today And I would rather be anywhere else But here today And I would rather be anywhere else But here today Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh
11.
Like Soldiers Do (Billy Bragg) 03:17
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Blues eyes fighting the grey eyes fighting the tears Armed to the teeth for a war of words Reaching all the years I advanced across a poppy field I saw the gleam as you raised your shield And love screamed down With the sun behind its back Our Fathers were all soldiers, Shall we be soldiers too Fighting and falling like soldiers do Nothing is clear in this tactical unclear war I can't be bothered to find out What we are fighting for No one can win this war of the senses I see no reason to drop my defenses So stand fast my emotions, Rally round my shaking heart Our Fathers were all soldiers, Shall we be soldiers too Fighting and falling like soldiers do Blue eyes fighting the gray eyes fighting the tears Armed to the teeth for a war of words Reaching all the years I advanced across a poppy field I saw the gleam as you raised your shield And love screamed down With the sun behind its back I knew once again I was under attack So stand fast my emotions, Rally round my shaking heart Our Fathers were all soldiers, Shall we be soldiers too Fighting and falling like soldiers Fighting and falling like soldiers Fighting and falling like soldiers do
12.
Cry Baby Cry (The Beatles) 03:07
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Cry baby cry Make your mother sigh She's old enough to know better. The king of Marigold was in the kitchen Cooking breakfast for the queen The queen was in the parlor Playing piano for the children of the king. Cry baby cry Make your mother sigh She's old enough to know better So cry baby cry. The king was in the garden Picking flowers for a friend who came to play The queen was in the playroom Painting pictures for the children's holiday. Cry baby cry Make your mother sigh She's old enough to know better So cry baby cry. The duchess of Kircaldy always smiling And arriving late for tea The duke was having problems With a message at the local bird and bee. Cry baby cry Make your mother sigh She's old enough to know better So cry baby cry. At twelve o'clock a meeting round the table For a seance in the dark With voices out of nowhere Put on specially by the children for a lark. Cry baby cry Make your mother sigh She's old enough to know better So cry baby cry cry cry cry baby Make your mother sigh. She's old enough to know better Cry baby cry cry cry cry Make your mother sigh She's old enough to know better So cry baby cry.
13.
Ten Years (Paul Simon) 03:22
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You are moving on a crowded street Through various shades of people In the summer’s harshest heat A story in your eye Well, speak until your mind is at ease Ten years come and gone so fast I might as well have been dreaming Sunny days have burned a path Across another season A fortune rises to the sky Ten years come and gone so fast I might as well have been dreaming You are driving down an empty road Beside a shady river When the sky turns dark as stone And the trees begin to shiver The Grace of God is nigh Ten years come and gone And that flash has never been forgotten Sunny days have burned a path Across another season How do the powerless survive? Ten years come and gone so fast I might as well have been dreaming If you look into your future life Ten years from this question Do you imagine a familiar light Burning in the distance? The love that never dies Ten years come and gone so fast I might as well have been dreaming Sunny days have burned a path Across another season Ten years come and gone so fast Sunny days have burned a path
14.
Molasses (Radiohead) 02:27
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Shake hands, genocide, molasses Jet powered caravans, molasses I’m too good, you’re stuck on Rent free earthquake zone, molasses I need someone else’s glasses Starving waitresses in plasters Fat houseflies, genocide We’ve been stitched up, molasses
15.
Bonfire Blondes (Beck) 02:18
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I'm so weary of taking up space Sending junk mail to the whole human race Stole my genome from the salt of the earth Weighed my brain for to see what it's worth Lights out, they're throwing blondes at the bonfire Beauty's burning but my backbone feels so cold Little girl with the protean hands White lightning that she got from Japan Fingernails on the tasergun Mannequins just melt in the sun Say hello, they're throwing blondes at the bonfire Plastic melts, but souls only wear away La la la la la la la la La la la la la la la la La la la la la la la la La la la la la la la la Now the bonfire's burning my face Generic rails that I like to deface Landladies turn to pillars of salt Like missile silos where the alpha males go Bombs away, they're throwing blondes at the bonfire From the ashes, all that's left is a heart of stone La la la la la la la la La la la la la la la la La la la la la la la la La la la la la la la la
16.
Strange Invitation (Beck) 03:58
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I've been drifting along in the same stale shoes Loose ends tyin' a noose in the back of my mind If you thought that you were making your way To where the puzzles and pagans lay I'll put it together, it's a strange invitation When I wake up, someone will sweep up my lazy bones And we will rise in the cool of the evening I remember the way that you smiled When the gravity shackles were wild Something is vacant when I think it's all beginning And I've been drifting along in the same stale shoes Loose ends tyin' a noose in the back of my mind If you thought that you were making your way To where the puzzles and pagans lay Put it together, it's a strange invitation It's a strange invitation, it's a strange invitation It's a strange invitation, it's a strange invitation
17.
Revolution (R.E.M.) 02:58
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Your revolution is a silly idea, yeah All your friends are feeling sad It's like you need a reason to be feeling bad, yeah You sport an armband when your good and mad, yeah (chorus) La, la, la, la revolution (the future never happened) La, la, la, la revolution I don't know why I'm feeling bad, yeah I picked up a bad vibration Gulliani's on all the news shows Ban the electoral college Donald Trump is the president elect The Russians got him elected Black man can't get acquitted Of the crimes that we committed The future never happened, it never happened La, la, la, la revolution (the future never happened) La, la, la, la, I picked up a bad vibration Your revolution is a silly idea, yeah You tried to look like a punk rock girl A whole lotta sneer, and little curl I don't have time for your theatrics Everybody knows that you're a bad actress We've been sorry for great too long, yeah But a scum is rising, yeah (repeat chorus 2x)
18.
Furry Happy Monsters (R.E.M.) 03:29
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Furry happy monsters laughing Monsters having fun, Happy, happy See them jump and run. Happy, happy laughing all the while Cheerful cheerful Flashing a big smile That’s a perfect sign That they’re feeling fine Furry happy monsters feeling glad Furry happy monsters feeling glad Furry happy monsters laughing Something has gone wrong, Sighing, sighing. Faces have turned long, Crying, crying. Hear them sob and whine, Tearful, tearful. That’s a real good sign, That they’re feeling glum. Sad, sad times have come. Furry sobbing monsters feeling sad. Furry sobbing monsters feeling sad. Furry sobbing monsters crying. Come on monsters, you don’t have to cry, we can be happy! Furry happy monsters feeling glad. Furry happy monsters feeling glad. Furry happy monsters laughing. Furry sobbing monsters feeling sad. Furry sobbing monsters feeling sad. Furry sobbing monsters crying. Furry happy monsters feeling glad. Furry happy monsters feeling glad. Furry happy monsters laughing. Monsters, Happy, Monsters Monsters, Happy, Monsters Monsters, Happy, Monsters Monsters, Happy, Monsters
19.
Cheer Down (George Harrison) 04:17
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I can see by your grin That you're trembling within It's all over town, cheer down And the smile on your face Is sometimes out of place Don't mind, no frowns, cheer down. If your hair should fall If your shares should crash You'll get by even without getting a rash There's no tears to be shed I'm gonna love you instead I want you around, cheer down. When your teeth drop out You'll get by even without taking a bite If your dog should be dead I'm gonna love you instead The world loves a clown, cheer down. I want you around, cheer down
20.
September Gurls (Big Star) 03:00
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September girls do so much I was your Butch and you were touched I loved you, well, never mind I've been crying all the time December boy's got it bad December boy's got it bad September girls, I don't know why How can I deny what's inside Even though I'll keep away They we'll love all our days December boy's got it bad December boy's got it bad When I get to bed, late at night That's the time she makes things right Ooh when she makes love to me September girls do so much I was your Butch and you were touched I loved you, well, never mind I've been crying all the time December boy's got it bad December boy's got it bad December boy's got it bad, woo ooo
21.
Daydream (Lovin' Spoonful) 02:43
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What a day for a daydream What a day for a daydreamin' boy And I’m lost in a daydream Dreamin' ‘bout my bundle of joy And even if time ain’t really on my side It’s one of those days for takin' a walk outside I’m blowin’ the day to take a walk in the sun And fall on my face on somebody's new mowed lawn I've been havin’ a sweet dream I been dreamin’ since I woke up today It’s starrin’ me and my sweet dream 'Cause she's the one that makes me feel this way And even if time has passing me by a lot I couldn't care less about the dues you say I got Tomorrow I'll pay the dues for droppin’ my load A pie in your face for bein' a sleepy bulltoad And you can be sure that if you're feelin’ right A daydream will last along into the night Tomorrow at breakfast you may pick up your ears Or you may be daydreamin' for a thousand years What a day for a daydream Custom made for a daydreamin' boy And now I’m lost in a daydream Dreamin ‘bout my bundle of joy
22.
Perfect Circle (R.E.M.) 03:32
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Put your hair back, we get to leave Eleven gallows on your sleeve Shallow figure, winner's paid Eleven shadows way out of place Standing too soon, shoulders high in the room Standing too soon, shoulders high in the room Standing too soon, shoulders high in the room Pull your dress on and stay real close Who might leave you where I left off? A perfect circle of acquaintances and friends Drink another, coin a phrase Heaven assumed, shoulders high in the room Heaven assumed, shoulders high in the room Heaven assumed, shoulders high in the room Try to win and suit your needs Speak out sometimes but try to win Standing too soon, shoulders high in the room Standing too soon, shoulders high in the room Standing too soon, shoulders high in the room Standing too soon, shoulders high in the room Standing too soon, shoulders high in the room
23.
Draggin' the Line (Tommy James) 02:47
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Making a living the old, hard way. Taking and giving my day by day. I dig the snow and the rai nand the bright sunshine. I'm draggin' the line (draggin' the line). My dog Keebler eats purple flowers. We ain't got much, but what we've got's ours. We dig snow and the rain and the bright sunshine. Draggin' the line (draggin the line). I feel fine. I'm talking about peace of mind. I'm gonna take my time. I'm getting to good times. Draggin' the line (draggin the line). Loving a free and feeling spirit. Hugging a tree when you get near it. Digging the snow and the rain and the bright sunshine. I'm draggin' the line (draggin the line). Draggin' the line (draggin' the line). I feel fine. I'm talking about peace of mind. I'm gonna take my time. I'm getting to good times. Draggin' the line (draggin the line).

about

My seventh collection of Theme Music collaborations dating from August 2016 through January 2017. I'm kinda surprised just how well these songs turned out, given the amount of stress I was under during the recording to these songs. The results of the 2016 election, losing my job right after the election, getting hospitalized, losing my insurance, my girlfriend then lost her job, and then I decided to publicly propose to her on stage, married my girlfriend, had to deal with regular collector calls and shut off notices. Here it is at the end of January 2017, and I finally found a new job and I start tomorrow! Yay! For such a dark period, these songs absolutely were what kept me going. Well, that and my wife Moira! Oh, and thanks of course to Theme Music for being there and all the wonderful musicians from Theme Music that collaborated on so many of these songs! I absolutely could NOT have done this without you!

credits

released January 25, 2017

Kyle Richards, John Pecak, Carey Anne, Chris Henderson, Dave Thake, David K. Wallis, Zoenda McIntosh, Mark McRite, Owen Hodgson, Bobby Phillipps, Katrina Maxwell, Lee Wiggins, Matt Brown, Bill Shaouy, Pete McDade, Martin Burch, John Fremer, Kris Hauch, James Goodfellow, Shane O'Donnell, Steve Della Maggiora, Keith Marshall, Scott Roberts, Gary Maher, Scott Sutherland, Torbjorn Petersson, Keith Klingensmith, Edward Bradley, Lynsey Moon, and Christian Lipski

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Kyle Richards and the Theme Music Collective Ferndale, Michigan

Collaborations made with musicians from Theme Music.

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